Without an Afterlife
by Silversun XD
Summary: I knew when I died, I would go somewhere. born as another life-form. heaven. being turned into a ball of burning gas in the cosmos. SOMEWHERE! I didn't exactly think going to an entirely different world similar to Earth would be where I end up. (A/N: I own nothing!)
1. Chapter 1

Most unusual

 _Clopping down the dark tan carpeted stairs, I dashed through the kitchen. I swiveled around my whining 6 year old niece who won't eat her breakfast and my extremely irritable 26 year old brother. Soon I was speed walking to my bus stop 5 minutes away. The chilly wind of October blew across my pale face. My bright flax colored knitted cap on top of my dark blonde hair keeping my head warm while my old faded spring green and gray light sports jacket struggled to do the same for my torso. Wide strides had my feet eating pavement as I saw the faded STOP sign up ahead._

 _I stopped near the sidewalk-less curve to be safe from the no traffic road of my growing neighborhood. I stared at the few just constructed houses down the block and a few skeletons of future homes. I shifted my light blue backpack and purse hanging off my frame when I saw out of the corner of my eye a friend. I murmured a "Morning!" but was ignored due to the earbuds in her ears. I just blinked normally, unfazed and stared ahead not really thinking of anything, my mind blank of any thought, listening to my own music._

 _I felt the wind blowing a little harder, trying unsuccessfully to lift the frizzy curly rope of hair to swing in the huff of air, just shy of touching the ground. I glanced at it and pulled out semi warm hands to bring up the braid and try to stuff it in the hood of my jacket. When I finished my task, I reached to the side of my backpack to take a drink of my still hot jasmine green tea from my thermos. After taking a few satisfying sips of the liquid warmth, I felt pain rip through first my navel then my entire torso. I didn't process anything anymore enough to scream out my pain. I saw blood on the dark gray concrete road and my friend's horrified face before nothing._

 _I slowly opened my eyes and gave a horrified confused scream. I looked back at the mangled corpse. Dull blue eyes stared out of rounded rectangular glasses. Pale tinged red skin from past sun burns was pale and bloodless. The chest and middle was torn apart, guts, tissues, and muscle everywhere along with too much blood. Pieces of blonde rope scattered everywhere on polished ivory marble slowly soaking in red._

 _It was me._

 _ **Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

I stared. I stared because there was nothing else to do. I understood slowly that I was dead, and I am just staring at my bloody body. Memories where blurred before I remembered the pain. It wasn't until I heard footsteps that I looked around. I was in some kind of building with very less walls and a lot of light and vegetation. Then I saw a tall being.

From what I could observe, the being was male, had really long dark hair-perhaps brown- crowned with a silver braided circlet, wearing robes of some kind (not bathroom kind as I remembered watching renaissance themed movies and a couple of pictures from history class) and pointed ears as he bent down to view my corpse better. He hmed before removing my glasses and tilting my face towards him. It was then I noticed the familiar weight on my nose was gone. I could see clearly again without my glasses. A really minuscule bonus to being dead, I guess.

I wanted to move, but I noticed quickly that there would be a problem. I couldn't feel anything as I looked at my feet that _were_ touching the nice floor. I picked up a foot, but before I could set it down to step towards the just-about-to-leave being, I suddenly shot up towards the ceiling. I tried to grab something, but everything was too smooth for my astral hand to grip. I could hear the thud my back made on the ceiling, but still could not feel anything. I saw the being pause and look in my direction. Sharp eyes past over me. He looked around once more before slowly leaving again with my corpse. He was covered in my blood, fluids, guts, ect. I also noticed that I dripped. I grimaced. I wasn't squeamish about seeing innards or something dead but, damn, those nice floors are being stained with my blood. I just hope I don't smell. That was what got _me_ every time.

I blinked as I noticed that I was gently flouting down. I landed lightly back on the floor, moon hopping a couple of times. I wondered if I would have to shuffle to get around instead of walking normally. I spread my arms to see if that would keep my balance and gravity. I took another step. I did a small hop in the air. Something was different. I thought of my used-to-be weight. I felt slight pressure on my, now noticing, bare feet. I took another step. Small victory! I can walk normally again with some wobbling.

I followed the trail of my blood. When I reached my destination, it was a room with a wooden plank bed. That bed-well table really- held my 5'3 foot tall body under a thin sheet slowly turning red. The being was nowhere in sight. When I made to my side, I reached a hand to see if I could grasp the sheet. Surprisingly, I could. I honestly thought I was a stereo-typical ghost that couldn't touch anything, just passing through everything. I breathed an airless bracing breath and pulled the sheet back to view my face. The being closed my eyes. I stared at my unnaturally pale face.

I sunk to my knees. My forehead rested on the side of the table. My arms rested above on top of the table. I squeezed my eyes shut as my situation fully came down on me. I wanted to cry, be emotional for once, but without a body, I had no tears to release my self-pity and sorrow. I understood long ago that I was selfish. I didn't even think of my family or friends first or even right now, probably won't later. All I saw and knew was that I _died,_ and I can only watch strangers inspect my corpse, prodding it and wondering where it came from. I slowly gathered myself up with what mental strength I had. I'm dead, end of the story of my life.

I slowly stood when another being came back. There were notable differences like this one was a woman. She looked similar to the other being. I watched another came, same gender. I watched as they cleaned my corpse up, dressed it in a dress similar to mine, modest white to my ankles (only the one I'm wearing goes to my knee caps) and left. I stayed in a corner, watching them.

Then a couple of males came and picked me up. I followed them to a freshly dug soil. I was placed in the hole, buried with some mumbo-jumbo prayer-saying that actually made me feel lighter, and planted a sampling in place of a tomb stone. I stayed after they silently left. It wasn't until sunlight shined in my eyes that I noticed that I don't tire after staying up all night and that the light doesn't pierce my eyes anymore. No body, no pain. I mourned myself.

I kneeled in front of the sapling. I looked around for a rock or a sharp looking stick. I had to travel a ways to find a small one. This place was too neat, orderly, and clean. Living I would have appreciated it but not now. I kept it low to the ground. When I came back, I scratched one word, a name. I was always horrible at remembering names. I do believe that this name, my name, will join all those others.

" _Shania_ _"_


	2. Chapter 2

Feeling, Remembering

I wondered about the endless halls of Imladris. I passed the hall filled with historic paintings of battles and the statue holding up a plate of broken sword pieces, Narsil. I can't tell the time anymore since I haven't slept since I died. The days and nights blur together endlessly, but I have noticed the sapling that grew over my bones has become taller and wider. I have seen many elves, Men, some dwarrow, and an occasional wizard pass through the halls I haunt.

It amused me that after some time, my cap had become fashionable during the more colorless season, winter. The rest of my mortal clothes were carefully cleaned, preserved, and stored in a box somewhere. The only jewelry I had on, an old heart-shaped necklace with very small diamonds weaved in it my sister gave me for a present on a Christmas holiday, was tucked into the heart of my sapling, in the roots. I guess that was the reason I was lingering. The only thing and person I could remember anymore.

Emptiness had filled me after the day I accepted I was dead. I didn't care for the living. I didn't care for those few spiritual elves that could see me sometimes in Lord Elrond's library. I have read every book within the ancient shelves, in every language. I had guessed that language barriers don't matter anymore. Those books had occupied my boredom to the last book.

Everything here was like a fairytale. The histories, the battles, and the creatures were so unbelievable. I waited to wake up, but the longer I waited, the more I could phase through mortal objects and beings was growing. Instead of ghostly white, blue, gray, and black shades form of myself, I continue to become translucent. In recent staring at my sapling turn young flowering tree and faded word, curiosity slowly crawled out of the sea depths of disinterest.

'What is the world like outside this valley? I don't have to worry about food, sleep, or shelter anymore. Could I explore?'

After the moment of those thoughts, I suddenly remembered the word carved into the tree was my name. I blinked. I felt something well within me. I couldn't remember what the feeling was called anymore. A faint sensation passed in my eyes, a pressure of some kind.

"What is this feeling," I asked myself.

"I do believe that is sadness my dear. The air has the faint wisps of it coming off your heart. Now in light of circumstances, you have been lingering in these gardens and halls for decades. What is it that keeps you here?"

I turned to stare up at the tall gray being. He shifted his staff as he gazed into my eyes. I turned back to my name. I pulled my hair in front of me to run my hands through it. I don't know the actual reason, but my treasure, my necklace was here. My bond with my sister was something I held onto when I was alive to stay sane. It was all I could remember. That necklace is sacred to me.

Suddenly, a blinding light shone behind me before the pointy end of the being's staff – a wizard I finally remembered- with the crystal fazed through my chest. I felt at peace and light. I felt for the first time in a long while tired. I wanted to rest. I closed my eyes, embracing the feeling. Then suddenly golden light filled my vision as I felt gravity again. I fell hard to the ground. I thudded to the ground. It hurt. It hurt!

I rolled around in the dirt and trimmed grass, relishing the sensation of feeling something again, dirt gathering under my nails and dusting my long hair and the blades of grass and surrounding leaves scratching my sensitive skin. I could feel the heat of the spring sun and the gentle breeze grazing my cheek. I could smell the musky soil, the fresh air, and the sweet fragrance of the surround flora. I could smell something bitter, probably the bruised vegetation. I grinned as I looked around, stumbling to stand up and twirl around. The vibrant colors, creams, and pastels of everything around me are spinning around as I caught sight of my gleaming hair as it flowed and whipped in the wind. I plumped back down and leaned back on my hands, digging them into the cool carefully tilled ground, taking in everything Middle-Earth and Imadris' garden had.

Memories of when I was alive came rushing back, the great, the good, the boring, the bad, and the worse. I remembered my house, my home, my family, my friends, and every other person I had deemed important and unimportant to me. I remember all the laughter and fun. I remember the arguing and the fights. Everything.

Then every sense I just had started to dull to nothing but slight pressures again. My memories started to fade until all I could recall was something I just remembered was forgotten. I laid there on the ground, feeling empty once again. I raised my hand to see them, feeling like they should be dirty, but instead they are clean and blemish free. I could feel something drain out of me, leaving me blank as to what did and is happening.

I turned my head to see what is making the rustling sound. I saw an old man in grey robes shifting to sit up. He sat wincing. I could see his staff off to the side, smoking but still whole. I looked back to the old man's eyes. His eyes were grave but bright. I faintly heard rushing footsteps. The elves came around asking in rapid session what's wrong and where the threat was. They helped up the wizard. He continued to stare at me. The elves looked in my direction in confusion, all but one. Lord Elrond looked at me in confusion and caution. The wizard spoke.

"It seems, my dear that the Valor does not want you leave Middle-Earth yet."


	3. Chapter 3

" _Elvish"_

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Interacting

Something froze. I don't know what it was, but something just froze as I processed the wizard's words. The elves shifted in confusion. Motion came fast. I got up and headed to the wizard. Lord Elrond shifted back and watched me. I stood small amongst the tall beings. Something flared in me like the fire I once observed. The wizard's brow furrowed at my stare. He turned to Lord Elrond and whispered into his pointed ear,

"My friend, I must ask you to meet me in your library. Your questions will be answered there, but for now, I must speak with her alone."

A pause stretched on until the elf lord spoke.

"Very well, _everything is fine now, please, be on your way."_

The elves dispersed, as well as their Lord, though with hesitancy. I continued to stare at the wizard. The wizard himself moved over to a nearby bench. I moved closer to my tree with the male still in my sights. He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye. I squinted at him.

"Come now, I'm sure you have a few questions. Bring forth your concerns, and I'll answer you to the best of my abilities."

I pursed my lips in contemplation without actually thinking about it. I feel I should ask the few questions I had, but I also feel wary. He did something. I just can't remember.

I sat down at the base of my tree, criss-cross-applesause style. I smoothed my squirt to fully cover my lap and legs. I looked back up as I slumped forward and rested forearms on my knees. I continued to stare at the old man. He eyed me in curiosity.

"Curious, you are a very particular spirit, miss. I have not ever seen or heard a spirit as quiet as you. May I inquire if that you cannot speak or are you just shy? Most would be asking questions or demanding me to leave them alone, but no, I can tell you are curious. Speak and I'll tell you what I can."

 **Gandalf's POV**

After saying my words, I saw her shift to straighten her posture. Her empty shadowy blue eyes twinkled faintly with curiosity. Most spirits of Men would do anything to hold onto their previous lives or any way to feel alive again. That was why most spirits still had defining features in their pale forms. The small young woman before me seems to have given up on the notion of being alive-like a long time ago. She has been slowly disappearing since then.

I felt the air change as the young lady got up and headed my way. Another thing I noticed. She didn't flout or fly from what I have seen in her movements. She settled on the bench next to me with some space between us. Her form slowly sank through the wood. The small frown on her lips tells me she had noticed and tried to lift herself comfortably back on instead of in it. It seems she is a woman with small expressions of emotions. I turned to her completely when she started to stare at me unblinkingly. It was a slightly unnerving. Though, I do believe I have given the same look to many a fellow.

"There we are, are you comfortable? By your blink, I'll take that as a yes."

I caught a momentary twitch of her lips that slowly started into a smile. Another discovery, if her emotions are strong enough, she won't be able to suppress the urge of showing it. That may or may not be good, but her form is coming back into focus. She is starting to have her color back. Then she spoke. Her voice was low and monotone, but it held a glimmer of hope if I go by the way the air shifted subtlety again.

"Who are you? Do you know why I am still here?"

There is hope for her after all. She was chosen by the Valor to remain here for some reason, so I'll help her not disappear.

"Well, my name is Gandalf, Gandalf the Grey. I do however have other names, but I'll let you discover those on your own. As for your other question, I do not know, to be sure. At the present moment, I can tell you _with_ surety, is that the Valor has a task for you. What it is, I do not know."

I heard her hum as she went back to staring at her tree. She got up and glided over to the tree. She lifted a hand to trace something over the bark. I followed her to see what it was. It was a word, carved into the bark, but it looked old. It seems to be Westron, but the normal marking around the letters are absent. I tried to speak the word and got a small reaction out of her. I heard her sigh.

"Sh-uh-nia-uh"

The word was foreign as she sounded it out. It could be what she called the tree or it could have another meaning. I sounded it out. She turned to look at me. Her young face lite softly with happiness. Right then, she reminded me of a happy child. In a way, she was.

"That is my name. I had forgotten it until moments ago. I believe I have always forgotten names. Mine was among them until now."

I looked at her surprised. Her name was a mystery to me since I know most of all the tongues Middle-Earth has ever developed, but to have forgotten her own name, it seems either her memory is bad or selective, or it had faded from her mind as time was spent around her. I decided to ask a question that most would deem insensitive by others, but I had a feeling she would not care.

"Tell me, Shania, were you from Middle-Earth when you died."

I saw her eyes fog, and her form waver. I shift my staff uneasily. She looked back at her tree. It seems she likes to stare at things. Quite an odd habit if I do say so myself. She looked back at me, and the emptiness of her gaze made me pause once again. They were voids that lack the life and care of any other mortal. She looked lost.

"I don't know. Most of all my memories of when I was alive are gone."

"Hm, you say "most." May I ask why?"

She turned away from me back to her name. I waited for her to answer patiently, even though I had a feeling she won't tell me anyways.

"No"

I wanted to sigh but held it in. She may keep it to herself for now since it doesn't feel to be a dangerous secret. I lifted myself from my seat. For now, I'll leave her be. I must meet with Elrond about this new predicament.


	4. Chapter 4

Surprises

Emptiness has been with me ever since I could remember, but, right now, it was a pronounced feeling. After giving my answer to the grey wizard, Gandalf, I heard the whisper of his robes as he left. I turned around, already expecting him to be gone but just catching the edge of his grey cloth around the corner. I turned back to my tree and what's left of my faded memories.

It wasn't until the sun was high in the sky the next day did I see the wizard again. I turned when I heard an attention wanting cough and no other person was around to hear it. The wizard had also brought Lord Elrond. I could tell the elf lord's expression was carefully blank while Gandalf's wrinkles were lifted in a smile. I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"Ah, Shania, I would like to discuss with you your new arrangements. It also seems that my friend here had not entirely noticed your presence for the time you have been here. Lord Elrond, this here is Shania for however much you can see her."

I could feel my face twitch in an attempt at not smiling and failing at it. I don't know how much of myself the elf lord can see, but I bowed anyways to show my respect. When I rose, I saw the little wrinkle between his eyebrows was pronounced as he nodded hesitantly. I smiled.

"Hello, it is nice to officially meet you."

I couldn't tell if he heard me or not. It wasn't until after a long pause and Gandalf relaying what I said did I now know the elf couldn't hear me. I watched as his face seemed to warm. He turned in my general direction and nodded.

"It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Lady Shania. I hope you can forgive me for my carelessness about your wellbeing. I had an inclination that you were here when you first arrived, but it has been some time since then it had slipped my mind."

I stared at the being before me. I was fine with it. I am dead, and he doesn't know me. It was natural for anyone from here to forget me after burying my body. I had never existed here in the first place, but my bones are now in this soil. I will see what they are beating around the bush for. I turned to the wizard.

"Tell him, that he is forgiven. It is only natural for someone here to forget about someone who did not exist before. My remains were taken care of with care and I am grateful, but please tell me what the real reason for visiting me is. Chosen by the Valor or not, no living being would approach a ghost willingly."

I watched as Gandalf's shoulders stiffen, but relayed my message in a nicer way than my blunt words. Lord Elrond nodded.

"Very well, I have reason to believe that you are chosen by the Valor from what Gandalf has told me of your first encounter with him. I am willing to gift you with an education of this realm and any other studies you may be interesting in."

I blinked at the lord, stunned. I looked to Gandalf to see anything. I saw honesty. I breathed no air to heave a sigh. I honestly did not want anything to do with the living or, by chance, any other ghost happening to be here, but that curiosity is still clawing at me. I wanted to know. I wanted to know something other than Imladris with its vegetation, peaceful beings, dusty books, and neatness.

I glanced at Gandalf. He had on a peaceful look. He knew my answer. I nodded. I blinked when his face _shined_ with approval. The wizard cheerfully told the _good news_ to Lord Elrond. I could feel my face sour at the elf's open relief.

"Now, my dear don't look so sour. Here you are, a gift to celebrate this decision!"

My eyes zoomed in on the object Gandalf is magically pulling out of his robes. Something that suddenly big should have made a noticeable lump in his pocket, suddenly everything was much bigger than I was used to. I looked up to see wrinkles and blue eyes. I looked around frantically to see what had changed. Everything was larger. I held out a hand to see if it was real. I saw wood. I looked at the rest of me. I was a foot and a half tall wooden puppet. I moved the carved "fingers." I shifted my "toes." I kicked loose "legs" in the grip of the now dubbed _Insane_ Wizard.

"What did you do wizard?"

He shifted me as he prepared an answer. I saw a glimpse of Lord Elrond's bare shock and startled moment. I focused on the insane wizard. I was mildly glad to have a body back but to have it done so forcefully; it made me uncomfortable and angry.

"I only gave you a temporary body until I can get you a more suitable one made. This wooden puppet won't look like you, but you will be able to speak with anyone you want now. It will help you with your education!"

Education is important. That sentence echoed at me from my life, but it slipped away from me as soon as I grasped it. My anger crumbled at the logic, but I was still uncomfortable. A body I am not used to, it will take a while.

It was probably to only good thing I have while being dead, time. I don't know when I'll be released from staying here, so I'll make the most of my time. I slumped and nodded. I glared at Gandalf when he chuckled and smiled.

"Good to see you have logic and sense. Now here you are. I have a journey to be on, so I'll leave you in capable hands. Learn much and listen well!"

With that, the insane wizard handed me off to the slim hands of the elf lord and strode away with cheer and purpose. We both watched him go in bewildered silence. I could feel the vibration of his heavy sigh. I also did an airless sigh of my own.


	5. Chapter 5

Lessons and Problems

I was carefully set down on a table a little later. The puppet I possessed didn't have good balance, and from the creaking I hear, poorly made. I looked at the wood I am made out of more closely. The dry wood was fraying and had cracks along the joints. The joints were rusting and creaking with weakness as well from the red iron. Whoever had made this puppet used the wrong wood and was a poor at up keep, but the body, I noticed, was smoothened and worn in some places, like the holes where the controlling strings were at one point. This puppet was old. It is probably due to time that this puppet is breaking down. Nothing lasts forever on the plane of life.

Well, besides elves, but they sail away to the undying lands eventually. Speaking of an elf, I paid more attention to make-shift classroom I am in. It seemed to be a study. I stood on wobbly malformed blocked feet as I looked on at the bustling lord. He placed multiple rolls of parchment next to me with what was probably the smallest quill he could find and a full ink pot. He paused in front of the shelf of books. He turned to me.

"Excuse me Lady Shania, but are you literate?"

I scrunched my face. That was insulting, but if he asked, that must mean that not everyone in this world can read and write. I am from another "world" so it was probably a necessary question. I shrugged.

"My situation has allowed me to see and hear through the language barrier of many people. I just don't know if I myself can speak and write the many languages. For a hobby throughout my years without an afterlife, I had read through your public library. Your personal study and library I have not touched a page."

He lifted an eyebrow and studied me as I sat down again crisscross. He nodded and turned back to the books I have not read through, yet. Once he sat down a stack of five books we started the lessons.

 **XxxxX**

It was just sunset when I finished awkwardly scribbling down my last note. I looked at the three rolls of 3ft long parchments. They were written in English. My script was modern but neat enough to read since I couldn't do fancy cursive or even know calligraphy. My only problem was that the parchment wasn't lined. My short phrases and sentences were lopped sided and drying in place. I sighed as I placed a weighted stone on the corners so that the ink won't smear if the parchment rolls itself.

I wobbled as I placed the last stone. With many clanks, I crumpled away from my drying notes. It was surprisingly hard to lift small rocks. I just hope I don't have ghost sweat. I sat up to contemplate the meaning of this.

"Are you alright?"

I looked up to see Lord Elrond looking over my notes, probably to try and read it in Common Tongue instead of English. I shrugged for the second time today.

"I am just sort of thinking on why it was so difficult to lift some small stones. Is it my size or is it the lack of fleshy muscle? Is it due to mental strength that I can even lift it at all? I want to know how so I can grow stronger so that I don't exert my astral form and do something irreparable."

"Those are some good questions, but question to be answered over time. Now it is time to rest. I have some paperwork I still need to do, but you should rest up for tomorrow, until then goodnight, Lady Shania."

I hopped down via closest chair to stand my miniature height next to the now incredibly tall elf. I creaked my neck to look at him and ended up falling over. I was then picked up with amusement and carried over to my new room. I bounced on the soft bed covers. I nodded and thanked him before saying goodnight in return. I didn't know if he knew that the dead does not sleep.

I'll ask him later. For the mean time, I explored. So far there were only the essentials for a room, but they were lavish enough to seem they weren't really. That was about it. Oh, there was a walk through window. I tapped through the twisting curtains in the light breeze to gaze at the sunset. Once I saw the last sliver of sun slip down, my vision turned introverted like it does every night. Shadow becomes light. Light becomes shadow. It was then that what sense of color I had vanished into white, black, and various shades of gray.

I fidgeted with my wooden fingers. This was the longest I have been away from my tree. I turned back to climb back onto my enormous bed. I didn't want to leave in case I was found and got in trouble. An airless sigh left me once more. I want to see my tree once more. I swiped a hand over my head, but paused when I felt my hair. I looked down through my lap to see a limp old wooden puppet. I grinned.

I shifted off my bed and passed through the wall and glided over to my tree. I touched the bark. Like before I couldn't feel anything except the grooves of the bark. I blinked when I felt the smoothness of my name. I swiped a hand over the area of the bark again. I could feel it. I smiled. I looked up at the stars. I don't feel as though I knew much about star from when I was alive, so the stars here do not feel any different from any stars I can recollect.

I took a deep airless breath and let it out slowly. At peace for the moment, I went back to my room. I went to the wall to phase through it like I usually do, but I slammed into the wall with a dull thwack. I backed up in confusion. I reached a hand. It laid flat against the surface. I pushed; it sunk through to my elbow. I pushed again to tumble into my room.

'Well, that was weird.'

I went over to my bed to sit down. I looked down at the puppet I am supposed to inhabit. I pursed my lips. If I could feel the solid wall, then, could I pick up this puppet? I reached out to touch first. I did. I shifted to hold it with both hands. I lifted it. I smiled but it turned into a frown. I stared down at the toy. My face relaxed, but suddenly the puppet fell through my hands. Startled, I withdrew slowly. I reached again, but this time with focus.

I was suddenly in an enclosed space. I looked around to see that I was in a large box. I noticed that I was lying down on my side. I sat up with more ease than I thought I should. I stood on balanced feet. I looked gown to see I was in a dress, but not my dress. I was in another puppet. I seemed to be a female seeing the mock curves and chest that was not flat or as small as mine actually were. I guessed I was the same size as the other puppet. I shrugged, but it felt awkward. This body wasn't like mine, more so than the other puppet. I was more petite than the hourglass this body has. I shook my head. That isn't important. Heard a swish, I looked behind me to see that I had hair. I blinked. I was happy momentarily to have it, but I need to focus. I need to get out of here first. I stood before the doors and shoved. They didn't move. I tried again. Same results.

This is a problem.


	6. Chapter 6

Ok, guys this is _depressing_. I know there are a lot more of you reading this and not reviewing.

But a special thanks to **Reader-anonymous-writer** and **hikaru shinyi** for reviewing. It helps. -tired smile-

 **XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX**

I'm done

I knew it was sunrise when my vision returned to color and pale light streamed through the seam between the doors. I looked back up to see if there was something I missed. I looked to where the nobs are supposed to be. There wasn't a lock or even a hook. My ghostly shoulder sunk.

A knock sounded at the door. Sound was muffled by the walls surrounding me and the actual door the person spoke behind. I couldn't hear what the person said, but I did hear the door open. I banged on the door with smooth wooden fists with an echoing clank clank clank.

"In here! Can you please open the doors!?"

A moment later the doors to, I presume, the closet opened to show a blank elf lord. I breathed an airless sigh of relief. I thanked him and as I started to climb down, I lost footing. I hung in the air from the still attached strings I did not see earlier. I slumped in defeat around the puppet's stiff build. Then I was lifted into the air once again. I looked up to the blank elf though I could feel the air around him was filled with amusement.

"I see you have found Laerorneth. She has been around for the longest while since a traveling performer left her here some years ago. Tell me, how did acquire your new body?"

I shrugged not really knowing what was going on myself.

"I had visited my tree last night after the wizard's spell wore thin enough to slip out of the other puppet. When I tried going back into the older puppet, I suddenly found myself in a dark enclosed place in this puppet's body. I just hope I can return to the other one."

I landed softly on the bed and made my way to the puppet from earlier. I touched it cautiously in case something happened again.

"Although I am interested in the process of transferring bodies, I wonder why you would want to go back to this older and misused puppet."

I stared at the stain on the wood before me. It was almost large enough to have not noticed before or at all really.

"I feel I have not earned it."

I was suddenly looking up at the ceiling. I sat up to see a sprawled female puppet over my weathered legs. An echo of a proud chuckle rang through the air, Gandalf. Elrond seemed exasperated while just closed my eyes. Wizards.


	7. Chapter 7

Experiences

It has been years since I started to sort of interact with the living. In that time, I finally memorized some names to faces, learned most of all there is to know everywhere else, and being indirectly dissected by those wanting to know what it was like being dead and still on the living plane, in essence a spirit or ghost. I have met many people of different races and forgetting the majority of them.

At the current moment, I am traveling Middle Earth. I had a heck of a time convincing Gandalf and Lord Elrond to let me explore the lands outside of Imladris.

I know myself.

Or at least in the years I have lingered around the halls of marble and vegetation. If I had stayed there after finishing my studies, I wouldn't even budge in doing anything out of a routine I would set up subconsciously. I'm a kind of person who likes to settle into certain way of doing things. Wait till dawn, read, write, go to the markets to purchase craft supplies, work on various projects while interacting some with the few acceptable to me and my situation then the routine starts all over.

That is really an excuse to give myself to avoid feeling peeved by the Valar indirectly telling me to "GET OUT OF THERE! YOUR SUPPOSE TO BE DOING SOMETHING MEANINGFUL! IT'S WHY WE PUT YOU THERE!" Or that is how I interpret it anyways

I was actually crocheting a - something - I didn't know what I was turning the stitching into really … when I saw some of my yarn glow yellow-ish white before being thrown away from me and smashing into a the now dented wall, snatching the crochet needle out of my small hands and imbedding itself in a nearby cushion. To say the least, the brave few who actually tried to talk to me didn't come to my room again.

I know that being dead gave the living the sixth sense of danger to them. They would feel a chill when I'm near and a sense of foreboding. Those tingling, creepy crawly sensations are what keep those I wish to interact with on edge or simply edging away from me. It was, saddening, and, disappointing, and, understandable as it was lonely.

Well, back to the boring situation at hand, I was tromping through some dry shrubs and empty woods in the middle of winter in a hollow wooden and metal me-sized body weighed down with stuff I don't need but there anyway for a "Just in Case" kind of moment. Although it didn't weigh much to me, it defiantly weighed down my material body. I should have thought of that when I was packing. Not being able to feel any pressure is both rewarding and burdening since I have to think of the limits of the body I wear.

Back to the situation I stumbled upon, I started through the two eye holes of the fabric I use to hide my less than fleshy body at the bloody scene before me. I was not sure if feeling this detached to the horrific scene or not being remotely interested in the story behind it was okay or not, but I picked my way through the bodies of what looked to be half starved poorly clothed dwarves and dirty scruffy men and blood soaked dirt to get to the other side of the supposed campsite. My guess was the dwarves were passing through and were unlucky enough to be set upon by bandits, but then again I don't like to assume about things. It is usually what got people, who are not really a center point of information, into a whole can of worms of misunderstandings and/or hurt feelings that the unfortunate perpetrator to feeling crushing guilt over and left with the consequences.

I paused when I hear a cry and frantic shushing. It wasn't a pained cry of accidentally trolling over someone's toes or an emotional wail. It was a cry of a baby who was hungry and the frantic shushing were of a child, well children.

 _I slouched in the uncomfortably stuffed chair off to the side of dim sterile room too tired to really think of what to do to occupy myself with as the adults of the room talked quietly and observe the newly born infant my sister-in-law produced. The baby wailed and cried as I winced hoping it would stop. My mom just held the girl saying, "She is just stretching her lungs!" or something like that. It was night, and I was tired and irritable. I didn't care to look at the newly mother or the newly father or the new born who were probably just as tired as I was. I just wanted to go home and go to sleep._

I blinked out of my haze of my living memory as the crying got louder. I turned around as two kids shuffled out from under corpses of two dwarves. The larger but gaunt one held the crying baby as the smaller one stared me down in a pathetic display of outrage and fear. I just shrugged my ghostly shoulders and turned away with a wave of my hand for them to follow me if they wanted to. I trudged through the dead leaves crunching like brittle crackers under my feet loudly away from the blood and gore. I didn't hear any answering footsteps as the wailing grew fainter.

Understandable. I wouldn't want to follow a strange scruffy person worn with travel with a burlap sack over their head just marching over corpses without as much as a glance. Meh, their choice.

It wasn't until it became nightfall that I noticed them following me. I had stopped for the night in the nearby town of men; because, even though I didn't need to, it was common sense not to travel in the dark. I was going inside a grubby and scratched looking inn when young cries of joy sounded behind me. I turned to see the very dwarf children reunited with other dwarves that probably heard of the slaughter. I waved at the three pointed brown haired child when he looked back at me. I turned back in to inn. I stumbled on a loose board, and I was glared at balefully by the inn keeper when I moved to get up from mud trodden in splintered wood.

I was kneeling now and was about to slouch up when I was kicked out into the dusty road. The door slammed in front of me. I winced. It wasn't the first time this happened, so I just got up and moved to a darkish safe-ish corner of town to set my stuff down and tune up my body. I could hear the squeak and creak of my joints and the groan of an over weighed down wooden body. I sat down and took out my tools, oils, and cloths. I pulled off my unnecessary boots and rolled up my trousers a bit to get access to my ankles.

I heard a muffled gasp. My head shot up to look around. I shoved my ankles under the fabric of my trousers as I saw the dwarf child peek around once more. I pursed my lips as he bravely – stupidly – came closer to me. At that moment, I wanted to scare him, to teach him never to do what he is doing right now: approaching a stranger without an adult. I was going to pull out a knife to scare him away until he spoke.

"What is your foot made of?"

I eyed him for a moment wondering if he really was interested.

"Wood"

"O-oh"

He jumped at my voice, probably expecting me to be male. He fidgeted as he glanced at my hidden unnatural feet. I sighed. I slipped them out and started to work on cleaning the gears used to help me walk properly. I saw him staring so I flicked some oil at him. He flinched then flushed. I smirked before frowning.

"You might want to leave me be. There are people here who don't like change, and I could very well be a definition of it. It is best to be alone for me. Here take these just in case and this advice: Know everything and anything, unlike me who knows nothing and just a something."

I opened a compartment in my calf and tossed a couple of my throwing knives to his feet. He looked to have nimble hands, so he should be able to use them. He didn't stoop to get them and looked angry. I sighed wearily. I looked at him through the thread bare threads.

"Call it compensation for not caring a lick about two kids and baby in a gory scene. I'm not all that great with kids so skedaddle before I threaten you to leave me alone!"

He started with wide eyes before scooping up the knives and high-tailing it out of my corner. I huffed and continued to clean my joints in dark silence.


	8. Chapter 8

Dwarves … and a Hobbit

Seasons come and go. Dim, dark, dim, light, and grey come around and around. I have traveled and learned some, none and a lot. In the most recent occurrence, I have shed my wooden body in Imladris to relax my mental and emotional being after traveling for so long. I was going to my empty craft room to pick up my last project. It was about two hours before sunset when I felt Gandalf and 14 others enter the barrier by the Hidden Pass.

I placed down my developing shawl down as I race to my room to cover my wooden features. Once I entered my room, I tugged on a dress while hopping on one foot to pull on some leggings, socks, and slippers careful not to have the fabric snag on my gears and hinges. I tripped anyways on some loose fabric of my chosen dress with a clickity-clack on the floor before heaving myself up in a sitting position to finish dressing. I scrambled over to the mirror to see the carved and painted short haired dark blond in the reflective glass with a painted on face of blue eyes, high cheekbones, and waves with slight curls. I glanced at my dark blue dress then to my bare jointed fingers and palms. I tugged on some white social gloves and pulled a veil over my head. My hands went under the veil the snag the sewn in loops to the small hooks on my wooden cranium the keep the sheer on in any strong breeze.

Once decent in the living's eyes, I tore out into the hallways, slipping and sliding on the polished stone until I was clopping down the stairs to greet the only grandfatherly figure of my known (or unknown, depending on who you ask) existence here in Middle Earth.

I bounded past a gracefully striding Lindir to launch myself at Gandalf from the stair case. Now, normally I wouldn't do this, but I haven't seen him in decades. My calm behavior isn't going to last in my desire to hug him to know he had returned, still alive and not ending up like me. I collided with strong spongy flesh clothed in grey robs, a dull silver scarf, and a blue pointy hat. I squeezed him as he huffed forcefully from my bear hug. I actually misjudged the height of my leap, so I was now dangling some feet off the ground on the wizard that chuckled and patted my head from the small thumps I heard my hollow head made.

"My dear girl, it is wonderful to see you again, but may I speak to Lindir properly?"

I sighed and slipped off him with a muffed clack. I then heard the shuffling and grumbling behind the old wizard. I peeked around to see a big huddle of filthy travel worn dwarves. I blinked and came around Gandalf completely. They shifted in agitation at seeing me. The majority was glaring at me while the minority had curiosity and wariness. My eyes paused on an unexpected member of their huddle.

The being gazed at me with amazement as well as curiosity, he – she! – had tired but warm and dazzled hazel eyes with dark blond curls tighter than my own! I moved forward to greet the fellow female when the dwarves growled and raised their weapons. I pursed my lips and huffed while placing my hands on my edgy hips.

"Calm down already! I'm not going to do anything to harm any of you!"

I paused when I spotted a vaguely familiar three pointed hair style, but didn't have the chance to ponder further as Lord Elrond thundered regally and majestically into the courtyard a bit overdramatically along with his hunting party on very tall horses. I crossed my arms impatiently as the group, wizard, and I were circled. Once Lord Elrond had his fill in dramatics, the hunting party stopped, and I looked over at the tense group in disappointment. I wanted to observe them some more and possibly talk to their female member as well.

I fiddled with my fingers as I glanced at the frustratingly familiar hairstyle. I pursed my lips in concentration to see if I can pull up the memory. I jumped on the balls of my wooden feet in startle-ment when Lord Elrond landed a heavy hand on my shoulder pulling me out from the air of memories.

"My Lady Shania, would you be so kind as to show these gentlemen to their quarters for them to freshen up for dinner?"

I blinked, feeling dumb for a moment before focusing on my task. That heavy hand meant I should be respectful but not overly so.

"Yes, My Lord! I'll see to it right away!"

I turned to the dwarves and female and bowed to them like I was taught. I turned to the stair cased and waved my hand to gesture them to follow me before ascending the very stairs I tromped down to greet Gandalf.

"This way please."

I immediately felt eyes upon me unlike before as I lead them through the guest wing to a large room where they could all fit. They were a suspicious lot, so I would think they would be grateful for it. It turned to the hesitant female by the door. She observed everything, the dwarves mostly, warily. I have a separate room in mind for modesty's sake.

"Miss, if you would follow me, I'll show you to a separate room to stay and freshen up."

Protests rioted up as soon her face filled with joy and relief. I grimaced as a deep frown made a crevice on my face at their treatment. Do they even know how their behavior is being interpreted by others? The female's face had crumpled into annoyance and righteous indignation. I've had enough of this.

"Silence, please! If you gentle-dwarrves have any respect for this miss you will give her the privacy and indulgence she deserves while you are all staying here! It is clear that your journey here was long and wary, so, please, no more protests or excuses. Now, you shall excuse us as Miss will be prepared for dinner."

I spun on my toes to flare my skirt dramatically. I placed my hand gently on her slim shoulder to guide her since I couldn't link our arms together. We strode down the hall, still within sight, across to another smaller room, and entered.

As soon as the door closed with a click, the acting strings of false confidence and spirit were cut. I nearly collapsed into the nearest chair. Just did so actually. I saw that Miss was watching me with wide eyes, so I straightened up with a false cough of composure.

"Well then, my name is Shania. Shall we get you freshened up for dinner?"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 6: One Heck of a Day

I had left Miss Baggins in the washroom to clean up with the rag and basin as I laid out some dresses that could maybe fit her. They were some very old elven children clothes, and those kids were more like living, breathing elf sticks than beings. I had also laid out some more adult dresses along with some scissors and needle and thread. Soon she came out, rose cheeked and refreshed.

Truthfully, it looked like she rubbed her skin raw.

Picking a dress that would fit her was a bit of a challenge. The children dresses matched her height, but were too slim for her healthy figure. With my limited sewing skills, I could not help widen them. The adult dresses were much too long and had a snug fit, but since there was a simple gown to hem up easily, Miss Baggins was nice enough to pick that one.

Miss Baggins was so nice. She was also very polite. Her manners seem so natural. She was more of a Lady than I was which, in actual truth, I'm not. It was just a title I was given so others would be forcibly nice to me, despite the death vibes I admit. As far as I know, the dead do not have titles, only the ones they leave behind.

As I hemmed up her new dress, I noticed that she started to notice her sixth sense of danger of me. She stiffened, and I kept on sewing. I made sure that the fold was even. I think she wanted to start a conversation, but I think she was fighting with herself on that argument. My guess was that she didn't want to speak, so I wouldn't look up and pay attention to her. While the other argument was that it would be polite and would fill in the silence.

Done with the fix up and her ready for dinner, I lead the way to the outdoor area where Lord Elrond, Gandalf, and the dwarrow are to dine. I curtsied, as proper, and presented Miss Baggins before leaving her to her companions, not really looking for their reactions. The ellon and elleth servants parted and either looked away uncomfortably or looked at me with distain. I didn't care, so I didn't really notice them. At the exit, I turned and curtsied again and left. Although, I _did_ hear the airy relieved sighs as I left.

 **Nori's POV**

Glancing around discreetly after stashing away the expensive looking salt shaker, I looked about taking in the elvish scenery. Flimsy stone arches, forested corners, solemn funeral music, leafy greens they call food, and Bilba enjoying her 'food' in a tree-shagger's dress apparel. Ignoring the _concerns_ the rest of us have towards our diet and entertainment at present and her unneeded change in clothes.

I glanced around once more after throwing some bread at the singing miner. Where is that lady? I would have thought she would stay for the party after escorting our new burglar. I mean, she is a Lady, right? Before I could think any more on that matter, I had to dodge a couple of mushrooms thrown by Prince Kili and return fire with a wade of leaves. Soon enough it was time to leave for our rooms, but I wonder what else there is in this place.

As I was wandering and _admiring_ a silver candle stick, I came upon an outside area with a large blossoming tree. I was about to leave when I noticed a figure tucked into the roots. Elves and their trees, I scoffed mentally. I turned to leave but stopped when I heard a voice. Low and monotone it was but defiantly feminine. I barely caught it since it was whispered so softly.

"That's where I remember that hair from…"

I turned back to give her a steely look to show that I heard her. Her hand came up in surrender; head tilted to the side so the veil drifted in that direction. My brow curled in confusion. That was very un-elfish thing to do. Usually, they ignore me and went about their business or eye me suspiciously. I turned towards the lass fully and decided to test her. It was then that I noticed it was the same lass from earlier.

"I would think I would remember an elf such as yourself since it seems you know me."

I could practically feel her eyebrow rise. It irked me to no end! Her hand moved to her face as it seems she tried to slouch with a ram rod straight spine as she leaned an elbow on her knee.

"Well, for one: I'm not an elf, and two: even if my memories are not all that great, I remember a curious dwarfling with your hair style. I think I gave him my throwing knives."

I tensed. _It couldn't be!_ I eyed this female suspiciously. She shouldn't be alive if she wasn't an elf, and she was _no_ dwarrowdam! She had stopped talking when she noticed me tense.

"Hm, you could be that dwarfling. Tell me, if you are the dwarfling I gave my knives to, what did you see when I hid in a shadowy corner of the town to rest for the night?"

I gulped when I remembered. She could be the wizard's summons! That would explain it! I cleared my throat and shifted. No, that would be ridiculous. Right? I looked around for that blasted wizard before looking back at the lass or thing before me.

"Wooden legs. The stranger was tending to wooden legs before opening them to give me two daggers and warning me away from 'er."

She stood, and I took a couple of steps back. I had a hand on my own set of knives as I noticed she was shorter than I remembered. I tensed when in heard a loud squeal. I noticed that her hands twitched. She sighed.

"Well, it looks like I need to oil and repair some of my parts like last time. It is nice to see you again, but please excuse me."

I watched her- or it- leave. I stood there stiff until I could completely feel the she-it fully left before I relaxed and gave a shaky sigh. She still felt like death's shadow.

 **XxxxxxxxX**

 **Shania's POV**

While it was nice to know the young dwarfling was alive, I really should give this body a tune up. It had gone a couple of years without a checkup since this puppet was for social gatherings. I have been away exploring and learning the rest of the world. Speaking of which, I need to tune up my other Marinette. It was more complex than this Social Frame I am wearing. It was more or less build with battle in mind. It had hidden cavities to store items and small weapons.

I had made it to my room a few moments after contemplating if I have my equipment. Some oil may have expired while I was away. I stopped when I noticed my door was slightly ajar. Pursing my lips, I swung the door open suddenly to catch the snoop being careful not to be under the frame. I blinked when all I saw was nothing. I hummed.

It was entirely possible for me to forget to close my door.

Shrugging my astral shoulders, I closed the door behind me. I moved to remove my veil but paused. I dropped my hands and headed towards my balcony. As soon as I stepped outside, pink flooded my vision. I stood there, stunned. I dripped pink dye, my veil useless and my dress clingy. Frustration and anger burned before it cooled. It was just Elladan and Elrohir. They do this all the time. I just need to change.

I turned around calmly, only to slip on the formed puddle. With a clatter, my body laid still on the floor as I heard groans. Lord Elrond is _so_ going to get a complaint from me about his sons. I was in the process of picking myself up when I heard a soft knock on the door. Looking up with my eyes, I felt a little disappointed in myself that Gandalf had to witness my slip up.

"Oh dear, here let me help you up."

Despite not having the feeling of touch, I flinched when Gandalf grasped my 'arm.' Once on my feet, Gandalf closed the doors and curtains until view from the outside looking into my room was blocked. I unhooked my veil and let it drop to the ground with a plop. I headed for the changing screen when Gandalf started to speak.

"Does this happen often?"

My dress layer one splats onto the floor as I answer.

"No"

"I see, well Shania, I am going to need a favor from you. Admittedly it is a large favor and I will understand if you refuse it."

I hummed so he can know that I'm listening to him as I placed the stained Marinette in the storage closet. I floated out around from the screen to properly see Gandalf sitting at my crafting area. I moved over to sit on my other chair. Since regaining some emotions back I have been less transparent and more tangible. I picked up my dismissed project. I hummed again to notify Gandalf that I was still listening.

"I will be having the Dwarrow leave Imladris at sunrise. I am telling you this because I would like for you to go with them."

I paused in my crotchet to raise a ghostly eye brow at him.

"Yes, I know. I have heard that you just returned last night, but I need you to look after Ms. Baggins while she is with the company of Thorin Oakenshield."

"And why should I?"

Gandalf shifted as I continued my project. I was thinking of making it into a hat now.

"To actually joy an adventure instead of the wandering you have been doing for years. You need substance, a purpose. I am willing to give you one if you happen to agree to accompany Ms. Baggins."

I paused. I set down the developing hat in my lap. It slowly fazed through me as I thought about this logically. I didn't really connect with Ms. Baggins. She wasn't my friend, barely my acquaintance. The others would feel just as more or more uncomfortable in my presence. It didn't make sense to go but felt the 'why not' in the sense it could be fun. Or it could go horribly wrong, but then again. No one other than a magic wielder could do anything to me unless I wanted it to do something. With a sigh and a shrug, I agreed to come along.

It would be entertaining at least.


End file.
